Crazy Goggles

Today we will discuss the movie Star Wars Return of the Jedi. This movie is the third in the original Star Wars series and sixth in the overall series. The movie was released on May 25, 1983 and made $473 million worldwide. And yet again, another Star Wars movie released in May. I think that might be George Lucas’s birthday or something. Because every single Star Wars movie has been released in May! Anyway, this was a good movie. It’s the one I remember most out of all of the Star Wars movies. In the next few paragraphs I will describe the plot of the movie.

This movie takes place during the Empire’s reign. Han Solo has been captured by Boba Fett and dipped in carbonite, then he was shipped to Jabba the Hutt. Jabba resides on Tatooine in his palace, where he has Han Solo hanging on his wall. Luke is now a Jedi Knight and plans to rescue Han with the help of his friends Leia, Chewbacca, C-3PO, R2-D2 and Lando Calrissan. Leia goes to Jabba’s palace under the disguise of a bounty hunter. There she finds Han and frees him from his carbonite prison. There you go, a happy ending. THE END, right? Wrong. Unfortunately? Leia is being watched in the dark room by Jabba and his guards. So Leia, Han and Chewbacca (he was there too) are captuered and held prisoner. But Jabba seems to take a liking to Leia, and orders her to be his slave. So it’s Luke to the rescue!

So Luke has Lando pose as a palace guard while he goes and strikes a deal with Jabba. Luke says that he will spare Jabba’s life if Jabba surrenders Luke’s friends. Jabba laughs at that, and guess what, Jabba ends up dead! But that’s not until later. First, Jabba has Luke dropped into a pit with the dreadful Rancor. The Rancor is huge (like a house big) with razor sharp teeth that has an appetite for human flesh. It uses it’s sense of smell to locate it’s prey, but it might also use it’s eyes and ears. I’m not sure, but I definitely know that Rancors use their sense of smell. Luke then fights the Rancor, and kills it. He does this by luring the Rancor under a big heavy door, and destroying the control panel thus leading to the Rancor’s death as the door falls shut on it’s head. Jabba is enraged and sentences Luke, Han and Chewbacca to death. Be warned enemies of Jabba the Hutt,?he has anger issues.

Luke, Han and Chewbacca are taken aboard a sail barge, surrounded by two or three other sail barges. There they wait to be fed to the giant Sarlacc. The Sarlacc are huge monstrous creatures that live upon the ground, usually taking up entire pits (pits like hundreds of feet across) with their razor sharp teeth and huge beak. Not to mention the dozens of tentacles creeping out on the outer edge of the Sarlacc pit. And funnily enough, the eggs of the Sarlacc are shot onto living beings where the pods devour the being and grow into the giant Sarlacc. Anyway, unknown to Jabba the Hutt that Lando is posing as a guard on the execution barge. When Luke is about to be pushed off the plank into the Sarlacc pit, he catapults himself into the air and grabs the lightsaber that R2 throws him. And Luke cuts himself free and a great battle erupts.

While Luke, Han, Chewbacca and Lando are battling the guards Leia is strangling Jabba the Hutt. Leia successfully strangled Jabba with the slave chains that Jabba conveniently shackled her too. Don’t the slaves just love their masters? Luke and his friends are able to kill all the guards, and Han Solo pushes Boba Fett into the Sarlacc pit. Sweet revenge! Luke and his friends escape and destroy the sail barges too! Well aren’t they good at multi tasking? They then meet up with the leaders of the Rebellion and decide that they must destroy the new unfinished Death Star, and destroy the energy shield on Endor with Han leading the Rebels and the cute Ewoks. Now step up to get your new Death Star! Comes complete with planet destroying laser beam and robo Darth Vader! It is now only $2 million and comes with an energy shield! Yes folks that’s right! You get one Death Star complete with laser beam, a robo Darth Vader (actual size) and the energy shield for $2 million! Order now at 555-3679! We are not responsible for any accidents, injuries or death. Death Star does not come assembled, parent assembly may be required. Also, this product does not exist. If you call this number, nothing will happen.

That’s pretty much the plot of the movie! Of course I did leave off an hour or two of it, but I got the beginning! You’re going to have to watch it to see what happens next, and you won’t be disappointed! I know I wasn’t! And now I’m going to stop acting like a sales person now. Maybe now, or now. Oh just forget it, just watch the movie all ready!

Today we will discuss the movie Star Wars The Empire Strikes Back. This movie was released on May 21, 1980. I don’t know if it’s just me, but all of these movies seem to be released in May. If I were crazy, I’d say that they were up to something. If I were really crazy, I’d say that there was a conspiracy going on. But I’m not crazy, so there isn’t. You may think so, but there isn’t. Anyway, back to the movie facts. This movie made over $538 million dollars world wide. This makes it the highest grossing film of 1980. That just goes to show, you need to use those money making skills more often Luke. In the next few paragraphs I will describe the plot of the movie.

My memory is a little fuzzy on this movie because it’s the one Star Wars movie I watch the least. I think the last time I watched it was a year ago, maybe more. But you’re here for the story?right? So I’ll give you the story. Let me set the scene for you. The Rebel Alliance has blown up the Death Star, and the Empire is very mad. So they make the Rebel Alliance their top priority and make every effort to find them. That was three years ago! It’s been three years since the Rebels destroyed the Death Star, and the Empire still hasn’t killed them! If I had the galaxy at my disposal, you’d have thought that I would have found three or four people wouldn’t you!? I mean, they’re looking for a half-trained Jedi, a Senator, a smuggler and his sidekick! I mean sure those people have an army at their disposal, but the Empire has way more people. You’d think they would have found them by now!

Anyway, the Empire has found them on the ice world of Hoth. So the Empire sends some heavy equipment and decides to take down the rebels. A battle breaks out and Luke Skywalker is leading a squadron of fighters against Imperial forces. They’re actually on these snow ships that aren’t designed for space travel, so they use them to take down the AT-ATs and Walkers. Walkers are like boxes with legs, and guns, very big guns. And AT-ATs are like big rectangles on four legs, and though slow, are very powerful. I’m talking take out a city powerful. Anyway, while Luke is leading the fighters against Imperial forces, Han and Leia are trying to escape. Luke and his squadron take on the AT-ATs using the cables on the snow speeders. They then rap the cables around the AT-AT’s legs so that when the AT-ATs try to move, they trip and fall over. While Luke and his team are doing that, Han and Leia escape. The Imperials take Hoth, but Luke escapes in his star ship.

Luke heads to Dagobah where Jedi Master Yoda went into exile. There Luke learns the ways of the Force, but his training remains incomplete. Luke senses that his friends (Han and Leia) are in danger in Cloud City on Bespin. Little did he know that this is one of Darth Vader’s plans to capture Luke, or kill him. Yoda warns him not to go, but Luke says he will come back and finish his training. He then heads to Cloud City to rescue his friends.

This movie wasn’t my favorite Star Wars movie, but it was good. In the movie, Luke finally learns something about his family and his past, which makes it a good starter for the expanded universe. The Star Wars expanded universe is, in my opinion, much better than the movies. In the expanded universe is where most of the books and video games take place. The expanded universe is becoming, in my opinion, the golden age of Star Wars. This movie was good, and you’re going to need to watch it to find out what happens next.

Today we will discuss the movie Starwars A New Hope. This was the first Starwars movie to be made and the fourth one in the series. It has made $?775, 398,007 world wide, surpassing Jaws as the highest grossing film of all time. The movie was released on May 25, 1977. There have been several re-releases, one of which I have. In the next few paragraphs I will describe the plot of the movie.

Ruled by Palpatine, the Galaxy is now in the grip of the Galactic Empire. Darth Vader’s image is enough to quell most outbreaks, yet the Rebellion plows on. Rebel spies have stolen plans for a secret star base called the Death Star, which has the capability to destroy worlds. Vader chases the spies to Princess Leia’s flagship, where a battle starts. Vader and his troops storm the ship and start looking for Leia. Leia is able to insert the plans into R2-D2, who escapes with C-3PO onto the desert world of Tatooine. Vader captures Leia and demands the truth of where the plans are, and threatens to destroy Alderaan. Leia lies saying the plans are on Dantooine, but Vader destroys Alderaan anyway.

R-2 and C-3PO crash land on Tatooine where Luke’s uncle Owen buys them. Owen tells Luke to dust them off, and Luke does. While cleaning the droids, Luke triggers the message Leia sent. It says she needs Obi-Wan Kenobi, but Luke only knows about the old hermit Ben Kenobi. Luke dismisses the message and heads for dinner. While eating, R2 escapes to head out for Obi-Wan. Luke and C-3PO head out after him and?are met by one of the savage Sand People. Ben Kenobi scares the Sand Person off and takes Luke and C-3PO to his home. There, Kenobi reveals himself to Luke as Obi-Wan Kenobi, a former Jedi Master. Obi-Wan and Luke set off for a ship after deciding that they need to take the plans to Alderaan?for the leaders of the Rebellion to study.

Obi-Wan and Luke go to a local cantina, where Luke offends an alien patron on accident. While the patron is about to attack Luke, Obi-Wan slices the patron’s arm off and quells any other disturbances. Obi-Wan and Luke hire Han Solo and Chewbacca to take them to Alderaan on their ship the?Millennium Falcon. They leave for Alderaan, but find nothing but rubble where the planet used to be. They follow an Empire ship (known as a TIE Fighter) to the Death Star. The ship gets caught in the Death Star’s tractor beam. They board the Death Star and set out for Princess Leia.

I think the movie was a good start for the last three Starwars movies. I never saw the original version, so I can’t judge that one. But I can judge the one I have, and I have to say it is pretty good. It must have had to have been good to make $775, 398, 007! This movie is a classic and a good one at that. If you love Starwars, you’re going to need to put this one on your list. And if you can, try to get the original. It might be worth something.

Today we will discuss the movie Starwars Revenge of the Sith. SWRS was released on May 19, 2005. This was the sixth Starwars?movie to be made, and the third in the prequel trilogy. It was the last movie to be made and and made over $848 million world wide. This is the second highest grossing film of 2005, only behind Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. This is my favorite Starwars movie ever. Mainly because, for once, the bad guys actually win this one. This is the only fair movie I’ve seen. It’s fair (in my opinion) because the bad guys win, but the main good guy characters survive. Because of that, the Rebellion is able to be?born. In the next paragraphs I will discuss the plot of the movie.

The Galactic Republic is still on the verge of collapse, after being at war with the Seperatists for three years. The Republic mounts a rescue mission at the beginning of the movie in order to save Chancellor Palpatine. Anakin (who is now a?Jedi Knight) and Obi-Wan (who is a Jedi Master)?are sent to rescue the Chancellor from the cyborg?General Grevious. Palpatine?is being?held on Grevious’ ship, so they begin a space battle so the Jedi can infiltrate the ship. The Jedi succeed in getting on the ship, and set out to find the Chancellor. They find him, and see he is handcuffed to a chair. Count Dooku then arrives on the scene and duels Obi-Wan and Anakin. I won’t tell you who wins, just because I don’t want to spoil it for you.

The Jedi are captured after the duel and are sent to General Grevious, who is still on the ship. The Jedi escape capture and duel Grevious’ body guards. After killing them the Jedi make for Grevious, but Grevious smashes the window and escapes in an escape pod. Anakin then has to pilot the ship down to Courascant, where you will have to watch the movie to see if he makes it.

This movie is a very good one. I would watch the movie just to know what happens after my brief plot review. It ends typically, which you might have guessed. But the movie is full of surprises, some bigger than others. But as I said before, this movie is worth watching. I hope you enjoy it!

Information about this movie is from Wikipedia. For movie descriptions and tons more of information, make sure to visit Wikipedia!

Today we will discuss the movie Starwars Attack of ?The Clones. But before I get into that, I would just like to wish everyone a happy new year. Now, onto the movie.?This movie was released on May 16, 2002. This movie made $310,676,740 in the United States and $338,721,588 overseas. Even though it made that much, it was not the number one movie of the year. It was only outdone by Spider-Man, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, and The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. I’m a big fan of Starwars, but I also love Harry Potter and Marvel. So this news came to me as a mild shock, not a big one. In the next paragraphs I will discuss the plot of this movie.

This movie takes place ten years after the invasion of Naboo. The young Anakin Skywalker is now ?twenty years old and a Jedi?apprentice (or padawan, use which ever you choose) of Obi-Wan Kenobi, who is now a Jedi Knight. But?while on her way to Coruscant, Padm? Amidala (who is also the Queen of Naboo and senator) narrowly escapes an assassination attempt twice. On the first assination attempt, her decoy ship blows up with the decoy queen.?The second time poisonous bugs crawl into her room. Obi-Wan and Anakin sensed something was wrong in Padm?’s room and went inside.?Anakin saw the bugs and?cut them down to size while?Obi-Wan jumped on the droid that was delivering the bugs. Anakin then goes to follow his master and then they both chase the?bounty hunter.?And?his is all happening while the former Jedi Master, Count Dooku (also known as Tyranus), is building the Seperatist army up with some new improvements. The Republic is now on the brink of war, and have no army to defend themselves with. This is?the problem?Obi-Wan is about to fix after finding a lead?to the bounty hunter who killed the woman trying to assassinate Padm?.

On the ocean planet of Kamino, Obi-Wan finds a likely suspect (who turns out to be the correct person who killed the woman trying to assassinate Padm? ) and finds that there is a clone army waiting to be launched.?But meanwhile Anakin is ordered to escort Padm? to her home planet of Naboo, so that she may be safe. Anakin has fallen in love with Padm?, but?Padm? hides??her feelings for him because it is forbidden for a Jedi to love.?Meanwhile?Obi-Wan follows the bounty hunter to Geonosis, where he learns that it is the Seperatist capital planet of the time. He also learns that the Seperatists are building a?Super Battle Droid, an improved?version of the?cowardly battle droids they used to use.?While investigating, Obi-Wan is captured and Anakin and Padm? set off to rescue him. They too are captured, and the Jedi Order come to their aid. A battle breaks out against the Jedi and the new Super Battle Droids and the other droids.

I’m going to leave my plot review at that, just because I don’t want to spoil the ending. It was a good movie by my standards, and I recommend it to any Starwars fan. For the full plot, make sure to visit Wikipedia.

All the facts about this movie were from Wikipedia.